Mentally Drained 

I’m at a point where the pointing to others for help is more seen as looking at them for future issues,

As if I’m in search of a newsstand,

People shapeshift,

Started off well-rounded,

But these new found squares are not for my side,

All four of their sides are marked poisonous,

If you’re 1 of 4 at the dinner table, be sure to keep the forks and knives away & just focus on your main dish,

 

I’ve come to terms, contract signed & all….that I’m the reason for the Leo’s, Mark’s & Matt’s,

The departed,

It was stated in my references to nature,

 

I have come to find that the ones you’re closest to….are the most dangerous,
They often come with hidden agendas,

It may lie within their backpack or maybe a handbag,

Bags under my eyes from sleepless nights stuck overthinking should I…

Should I stay with the kill them with kindness approach,

Or give into the temptation to disrespect when the right moments present themselves,

Rather fight with myself then fight with others,

Always been scared to show the world that the temperature to my temple can get just as warm as anyone else’s.

 

Scared of the repercussions it may cost,

My wallet may no longer be featherweight,

Scared of the family members that it’ll leave scarred,

The friendships I may lose,

But I’ve made some realizations,

It may seem like some people care for your well being,

Yet they just want to know what’s going on,
Don’t confuse people being noisy with people who truly care,

 

All up in your business as if they’re CEO,

Just so they can profit from it,

Gain something from knowing your weaknesses,

Your pain,

Your ability to show vulnerability around them,

Time to take back that 360 degree’s

Build that wall back up,

Brick by brick,

Cemented & unbreakable,

 

Mentally drained,

I’m overwhelmed with society,

I’m overwhelmed with people’s judgments & negative energy,

I’m overwhelmed with being stuck in my thoughts,

I’m overwhelmed but I keep writing & publishing.

 

I’m aiding to my wounds,

Whether its music or poetry,

I’m telling my stories,

People are listening,

Admitting I’m suffering,

The gavel is lightweight,

People taking turns slamming it,

Mentally drained..I’m just..men..ta..lly..drained.

 

Thoughts that I’m going..in..sane..

People keep throwing..some..shade

Towards..my..name,

 

A little past..my..spine,

They they won..der..why,

 

I’m not the same Kenny I once was,

I’ll never be the same Kendrick I was once,

I feel alone in a room full of people who share my last name,

I feel alone in a room full of people with drinks in their hands,

I feel alone in a room full of people who limbo below the influence just as much as I do,

I feel alone because I’ve done my observations,

I analyzed my data,

My conclusion is stunning but accurate,

Results are,

I’m..not put together very well,

I wasn’t molded to be likeable for a long period of time,

Over time my value decreases,

And that’s the reason….for everything I’ve been receiving.

 

– Kenny Rhymes