Floating

Life..is..a..fucking..journey,
I have no idea where mine is headed currently,

I’ve managed to quit a job which may lead to me losing friends..like TV did in 2004,

I’ve managed to put people who are close to me on alert that anyone can get pushed..away if they violate my presence when I’m not present,

I’ve managed to find a friend who I’ve been kicking it with on numerous occasions,

Our auras match, our energies align,

But..you know me..

I have a bad tendency of great first impressions..then it’s downhill after that,

People start to see the darkness behind the mask as they carve it off of me,

But..maybe..things will be different this time around,

I did take my mask off for good..back In January,

So maybe everyone who now encounters me will be frightened from the jump..and distance themselves like couples after a bad breakup,

Or maybe they’ll cherish the authenticity and  understand that I’m still mending..still healing from bad relations with friends, family, love and most of all..myself,

I’m still here breathing, it’s a blessing.
I’ve done been toe to toe with depression and I keep winning..
It’s a blessing.

In a way I’m proud of who I’m becoming and ashamed of who I was,

I shouldn’t have been overly kind to people who didn’t deserve it at times,

On numerous occasions, I should’ve snapped..like girls at the hookah lounge on a Friday night,

But I’d much rather be Dr. Banner,
Not the other guy,
I hate when people see me angry,

But maybe it’s time an angry world sees an angry me,

I’ve learned I have to protect myself,
And killing people with kindness isn’t always the right solution,

Sometimes you have to fight disrespect with disrespect,

I’m more so leaning on Malcom’s ways instead of MLK’s,

And I’ve done turned the chapter on the music thing..well..closed the book,

I’ll always keep it close to my heart,
It was the reason for me finding my true love..which is poetry,

At this moment in time..I have no direction,
I don’t know where I’m headed..
I don’t know what I’m doing..

I’m just..floating..

Am I at peace..or am in pieces?

– Kenny Rhymes