If the day ever comes when I have to look my killer in the eyes and it’s my reflection staring back at me,
Then I can only hope I make it to this happy place I created in my mind,
It’s called suicide heaven,
At the opening gates Robin Williams greets you with his everlasting smile to remind you that smiles aren’t always tattooed on the faces of the happiest of people,
They’re often worn as a disguise, sometimes a frown is more difficult to put together than an upside down puzzle,
After making my way through the gates I find extreme joy in seeing Kalief Browder and realizing he’s no longer in solitary confinement,
He’s found solace,
No longer in prison fights,
He’s been sanctified,
As I continue my journey I come across the likes of Vincent Van Gogh and merely a few feet away from him is Marilyn Monroe,
He’s focused on a portrait he’s painting of the care free woman,
An artist, staring at art, creating art,
Music dancing to my ears from a distance, a voice I wasn’t too familiar with growing up,
A voice that captures my attention,
Kurt Cobaine, the artist I’ve heard so many others refer to in their songs back when I walked amongst the living on planet earth,
I’ve arrived on the day of a festival,
The crowd cheers in awe of him,
He looks so alive,
The microphone switches to the hands of another,
It’s her,
Of all the people I saw,
Her death is what my death may resemble,
Like her I battled with addictions,
Battle with addictions,
Bottle with addictions,
With addictions,
She’s performing rehab,
I’m cheering her on,
We’re cheering her on,
So much happiness in a crowd full of the dead who never could hold on to happiness when they were alive,
Suicide heaven is something I think I can get used too,
Surrounded by others who understand my thought process and what drove me to self destruct.
Suicide heaven is a place I hope I’ll be a resident of if the day ever comes when I have to look my killer in the eyes..and it’s my reflection staring back at me.
But this is just a poem…I love me…I love you…Never forget that loving the person in the mirror is the most important thing.
Rest In Peace to everyone we’ve lost prematurely to suicide.
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
– Kenny Rhymes
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